Bullies exist in Families

Why do people bully?
Is it a feeling of power
Or is it that they want to control others.

Perhaps they are not happy with their own life and just want to destroy someone else's

Maybe they have feelings of insecurity.

Whatever the reason, the actions of a bully can destroy the life of the victim.

When I was at school I was brought up with always being told "sticks and stones can break your bones but names will never hurt you. "  So my Mum said, just walk away and  don't take any notice of what they call you. There were a variety of names that you could be called and I copped my fair share of horrid names, but I cannot remember any form of violence. Maybe it was around in those days but not in my group of friends.

Now it seems like bullying is everywhere. Young people in their first job can be subjected to an incredible amount of bullying in the form of jokes or physical pranks. Then they will face humiliation by other staff members.

Our modern world , with the emergence of social media , has made all our lives so accessible to others. We share our life on Facebook or Instagram so all our friends can follow our day to day activities, whether good or bad.

Unfortunately many of the younger generation are fixated by having the greatest number of friends or followers. And there lies a big problem. People can be fickle; friend today and enemy tomorrow. 

Bullying can also be rife in families. All it needs is one or more members to believe that they are better than everyone else.
That so called " top dog " will control situations , or just make everything to suit themselves,
Some family members will be picked on and belittled.
The bully will spread stories and untruths about the victim.
Unfortunately other family members will believe those stories without even sitting down and asking the victim to tell their side. That is, if there is a side to tell. 
Anything the bullying victim  does will be criticized to the point that they will not have the confidence to attempt a task or hobby.

I guess that we all have believed that the family unit would be supportive of all members and would not partake in any acts of bullying. But we can be wrong.
To be a victim of bullying by a family member destroys the picture of the life you  had, or sadly believed you had.

The only justice that a victim would love to see , is Karma being dished out on their bully


                               💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

My furry family members take a piece of my jigsaw when they cross the rainbow bridge

Do you think of your pets as pieces of your jigsaw of life ?
I do and always have.
They have always covered a huge section of my jigsaw.
They have been brightly coloured pieces with both smooth and jagged edges.

But I have now lost some of those pieces so I have glaring great caverns in my jigsaw.

These voids will now remain forever.

In two years I have had three pieces disappear from my jigsaw, with black spaces now remaining.

When a pet leaves our lives it can never be replaced. Oh yes you can welcome another furry member into your family but each pet has its own personality, so needs its own place in your jigsaw.

Our furry friends are chosen to join our families.

How did you find your new member ?

Did you go to an animal shelter and give an animal a chance at a new home, to be loved and spoiled.

Or perhaps you visited a friend who had new babies looking for homes.

Maybe you found a stray wandering aimlessly around looking for it's next feed.

If you were after a specific breed then researching and visiting breeders would have been the place to go.

Whichever way they came in to your life , they were welcomed with love and warmth.

The  first hole left in my jigsaw was my bright eyed and happy little dog. She chose me when I visited my local animal shelter.

I just had to take her home !

She would greet me with a dance when I ventured outside with her food bowl. She always warned me when visitors arrived. And sometimes she warned me when people were just walking down our street. I probably got more exercise back then , due to walking to the door to check on the subject of her warning bark.

Sadly at 17 years of age , and struggling with old age, I made the decision to send her over the rainbow bridge to run and play with all those other dogs.

My grey and white moggy came from a farm. One of many kittens who were running through the farm sheds.

But I have a soft spot for grey and white cats so home she came. And did she enjoy being loved and spoiled!  Sunning herself in her contained yard but accessing the house whenever she wanted some cushioned comfort.

At 20 years of age I could not watch her suffer any longer.

In 2002 I became the owner of a brown Burmese girl. She was my second Burmese. Sadly my first little kitten who also arrived in 2002, took a liking to wires and chewed a small piece off  which caused her sudden passing.

So in December 2002 I picked up Roxi from Melton in Victoria.

A sweet little girl with attitude.

Burmese owners know all about the differing attitudes that this breed possess. I honestly believe that they know that they are more expensive and of a different heritage,   hence they think that they are above the other plain felines.

Roxi always commandeered the best spot in front of the heater or snuck off and climbed under the blankets. She turned her nose up at perceived lesser quality foods and looked  at you with disdain until something to her liking was placed in her food bowl.

She would need to approve of visitors and you would be her friend if you offered a lap at the right time. Mind you ,once you did offer you were there to stay, even if it meant dozing off, until she was ready to move on.

Burmese become the boss of the household.

They have their own distinct meow to command attention.

I knew Roxi's meow if she wanted the back door open so she could sun herself on the back  deck. Hubby would laugh and say " You've got to be kidding ! Surely you can't know that she wants to go outside !"  As Roxi ran after me and out the back door !.

Yes all you Burmese owners can understand.

I can see you now, all nodding .

I was constantly searching for the correct shaped bowl for her food. We ended up with a very large  soup bowl for water and a bread and butter plate for her food.

Only the best for the "Miss"

Over many years Roxi's needs and wants were constantly changing.

As she aged her food choices became more difficult to understand. Yes, never buy large quantities of food as she would then change her mind.

I swear these cats could open the cupboards and see how many cans, pouches or packets were in there.

Roxi felt the cold so a heated cat bed was needed throughout the day.

When we had central heating installed I was adamant that an outlet had to go in the laundry to keep the cats warm on those cold nights. 

You see Roxi was one who never wanted to stay in our bed. She would like to crawl in and have a snooze but then spend the remainder of the night in her igloo.

Cats are creatures of habit. They do not like change. So any renovations  or furniture purchases will be met with a cautious sniff and a slow walk around before being giving the feline nod of approval. If it was a new place for a afternoon nap, then you were on a winner

We all do our best with our animals.

We love them and care for them.

And then the time comes that we have to make the difficult decision.

We would be selfish if we expected them to stay with us . But wouldn't it be good to be able to be selfish. To continue having that cuddle or having that face look at you before the head butts began.

Yes, it was heart wrenching , but I made the decision to let my Burmese girl go.

After 15 years of the love and devotion that she gave me. All those funny looks she made. The knowing meows

My family always called her grumpy. I knew her looks just as love .

To all those who have loved their pets and made the choice to let them wander off along the rainbow bridge, I send you my love.

Roxi 16/9/2002 - 5/11/2017

We all have dark times during our lives, but it is how we deal with them that is important.

What has been , or is your darkness ?

We will all face darkness at some stage during our lifetime.
It could come from a physical or mental health  illness, a relationship or family breakdown, or a job loss.

If you had a life ending illness, how would you cope? Would darkness take a heavy toll on you.

Would you challenge the darkness of illness to a duel and tackle it with an immense amount of vigour.

And hope that you came out  the victor.

Some people who are suffering the scourge of illness  will bring bright lights and happiness to others, by just being a loving angel and destroying the shadows lurking in corners.
These people will climb out of their dark chasm and bring a shower of light to others suffering in a very dark place.

A ray of sunshine to glow brightly for those who are unable to glow for themselves.

It is how we cope with  darkness that defines us as a person.

                  Do not let the darkness disseminate through your life.

                                                If you do, it will destroy you !

The dark times when self pity reigns and you just want to be by yourself are fine but eventually you will need to try and find the light.
That light may hit you in the face like a  bright meteor, or it may rise slowly like a stunning start to a new day.
Then the darkness will disappear.
And that will be the beginning of a new life for you.

There will be a calmness and an awakening.

My darkness had me quite unsettled for some time.

But contentment eventually arrived.
I am happy with who I am and I am happy with the life that I have.
The darkness has brought about a new level of creativity, which I am immensely proud of.
Darkness is not a bad thing as it teaches you to respect all those wonderful sunny days .
We just need to know that we can destroy those dark shadows.

                            And we need to know, to just  enjoy life.

Sadly cancer has taken a beautiful friend

                                    💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞

How do we value friends ?

Is it the expensive wine they bring out for a weekend drink.

Or the top brand filtered coffee served with delicious well known bakery treats.

Well some people may value their friends that way.

But I don't !

I have met my friends from many different paths that I have travelled along this journey we call 'life '

But I met this one particular friend when we became neighbours.

The early 1980's , it would have been.

Our children were roughly the same age.

The relationship as neighbours was fun and friendly.

Luckily our dividing fence was not too high, as it was easier to pass the drinks or cakes and biscuits across to either side.

So over many years we sat on our steps and chatted and laughed about lifes happenings.

The summer evenings often called for a neighbourhood game of tennis.

So the older kids would grab their bikes and head off to unlock the gates at the  tennis courts ,while we packed some drinks, munchies and the all important racquets and followed on in the cars.

The kids would either play on a court or hit balls on the brick wall. Trucks and cars were also a favourite to play with in the sand.

With a toss of the coin the adults game of tennis would begin. Hubby and I against our neighbours.

And very soon the action of the power game had commenced. It would be like my friends hubby  and I were not even on the court. The two of us were lucky to even be able to attempt to hit the wildly flying tennis ball.

We just watched the entertainment unfold. 

It was an all out show of power between male and female

The game generally only stopped when darkness had arrived . But these nights were filled with much merriment. 

And the very well placed tennis ball, courtesy of the game skills of my friend. It was never about who was the best or strongest player , but only about friends having some fun.

If a game of tennis was not on the agenda, then possibly it would be french cricket in the back yard. And the standard rule was over the fence and you are out. And how many times did the ball go over the fence and roll down the hill.  So glad the kids could run fast and grab the ball before it went down the storm water drain.

It was a fun neighbourhood with everyone looking out for each other.

My dear friend loved her garden gnomes, but one night they were abducted.

Yes, ourselves and some other neighbours  snuck out during the night and confiscated said gnomes, and held them to ransom.  

The next morning passing cars were obeying the sign to “toot “. There was much laughter and fun and all gnomes were returned unharmed.

Over all the years my wonderful friend never changed.

Birthdays were always remembered and new family members were welcomed like they were longtime friends. The arrival of all our grandchildren was met with a well written card and beautiful gift. Every time I visited she was interested to know how everyone in the family was going and what our grandchildren were up to.

Her sense of humour was infectious

Her laughter was always honest and so welcoming .

And her quick wit never faltered.

She remained true to her upbringing.

Faithful to her husband. 

And dedicated to her children and grandchildren.

Always willing to offer help or advice to any of her friends .

Just recently she rang me and invited us around for a meal with the words

“ I know you are having such an awful time at present so please come around for tea. It is not much, just quiche and salad, but you need cheering up and I want to do this small thing for you “

That was what she was like.

Even suffering the ravages of cancer , she was still helping people.

Never sitting and feeling sorry for herself.

She has battled this awful scourge with such resilience and stamina you would believe that she was going to beat it.

But cancer , and the powers that be, had other ideas

Sadly the last time I saw my friend she was really suffering. She was not laughing as much and admitted when asked “ How are you today “ Not good !!

And you knew that she was not good !!

No one ever wants to see a family member or friend battle this disease but if it happens and if they fight anywhere near half as good as Terri has , then they are winners.

One day there will be a cure, which will be too late for our friend. But through her fundraising she has contributed to finding a solution to ending this horrid and growing problem.

All her friends and family would much rather have her still here on earth but she will be forever ,everyones gaurdian angel.

I know she will be looking down and clapping and shouting in support of all her grandchildrens achievments. She was a very proud Nana and loved her grandchildren unconditionally.

She will be guiding us through our difficulties and having a laugh at our silly mistakes.

You have shown us all how to value life .

You have loved and been loved

Fly gracefully to the next life and free of pain beautiful lady

Boy meets Girl, and a lifetime begins

It was 1972.

It was a local dance. There were only two in town of a Saturday night, the Pacific Ballroom or the YMCA.  The Pacific was where they had all the old time dances but the YMCA was where the music was loud and the dance floor was shaking.
I chose the YMCA.
My older sister went to the Pacific.

I had finished my secondary education and was commencing training to be a nurse.
I was friends with some of the other girls and a few had decided to go out dancing on this particular Saturday night. I may add that " dancing " is certainly not my forte'. I really do have two left feet. But with the dance moves of the 1970's that did not matter.

A group of guys from Elmore ( a town north of Bendigo ) had also decided to head to the YMCA that same night.
So there you have it.
He asked me to dance.
I said "Yes ".
And the rest as they say, is history.
And here we are 44 years later.

I can't say there were sparks, or thoughts of " this is the one ".
It was just that our relationship evolved and grew.

We talked and danced. It was quite laughable  because he had the same limited dance skills as me. But it did not matter. The night was fun.  So at the close of the dance we exchanged phone numbers with the view of a definite catch up in the very near future.
Although Elmore was only a thirty minute drive away , it still threw many difficulties in the way. Especially as I did not have a drivers licence and "my boyfriend " was not flush with enough funds to have a reliable car.

After I had finished my first block of schooling I moved in to the nurses home at the local hospital. The downside was shift work would be  involved but the upside was that I was now living out of home.
Back in 1972 ( it was pre mobile phones, so contacting people took some planning ) there were pay phones ( yes those old fashioned phones that you had to drop enough money into the slot or you would be disconnected) down in the huge entrance hall and if another student  was around when the phone rang , the yell would resonate around the building for the lucky recipient. If you were not quick enough someone would hang up the phone if they wanted to use it, and you would have to wait until the phone was free and then hopefully return the call to whoever you guessed had rung earlier.
Mind you there was no privacy with the phones as they were in a busy thoroughfare , but even at home there was no privacy  as you sat on the floor in the hallway with the phone connected to the wall by a very short cord, with everyone able to hear a one sided conversation.

Staying at the Nurses home we were governed by many rules.We had a slightly later curfew on a Saturday night but you would cop it from the highest in charge if you did not return on time.  It was entertaining to see all those fun loving girls returning from the Saturday night dances. Cars would line the street with the girls saying good bye to their boyfriends. And the gates were closed and locked at the required time. So lights out and all quiet.

I did eventually leave the nurses home and  move back home.
It was great when I finished my shift to see the blue and white EH Holden station wagon parked out the front . How nice to be picked up by my fella.

When I had my days off my new love  would come to stay if he also had days off. But he would have to sleep on the couch. Even though the 70's were free and liberal, try telling that to my father. And I did think it was wise not to get on his bad side.

On days when we were heading off for a drive we would quite often have my little brother accompany us, as my mother would be working and it was my job to take care of him. There were no harsh words about this arrangement as that was the way things were. Mum needed to work and my brother needed someone to take care of him. So the pair of us were quite happy to have my  little brother  travel around with us.

 At times I would catch the train to Elmore and spend time off up there. Not much to do in the small town during the day, and on your own, but I obviously found enough as I stuck it out.
When we had free time together we always found plenty of areas around Elmore to explore, either alone or with friends from the town. Meals at the Vic pub or the roadhouse were always a night
time treat .

The house at Elmore

After many months of driving up and down the highway we decided that we wanted to become a married couple. Nope, no bended knee proposal. Just discussions about long term  practicality .
So as you can gather we are not the lovey dovey  flowerey type people. Just plain, basic and practical.

We decided to celebrate our  engagement with a party so invitations were purchased and sent out.
No one could have predicted how horrendous the short term future would be.
The plans for our special night were all in place but alcohol and my father were soon to destroy them.

A trip home from the pub and a motor bike doing a u turn at the same time was  a disaster.
Yes the alcohol limit was above the legal amount , but his actions were such a normal occurrence it never really entered his head that an accident could happen.
So the motor bike rider was in a critical condition and was conveyed to hospital and admitted to Intensive care.
I soon learned that he was a resident of that same small town north of Bendigo and known to my fiancée.
So for the next few days, every time  I was, in the canteen having meals I was  listening to nurses say such horrid things about my father ,as he was the car driver. I eventually just  removed my name tag whenever I was off the ward. There was no way I could stand up for his actions or support him in any way, even though  he was my father.

Sadly the motor bike rider passed away .

Due to those events we had no choice but to cancel our engagement party.

So yes, the tentacles of alcohol stretch a long way and destroy many lives.

And that event put quite a strain on our relationship but we came through.

We enjoyed our time together gathering household bits and pieces from small bowls to large cupboards.
We purchased many items second hand, the fridge we painted purple to go with the purple kitchen chairs.
One day we headed to Shepparton to check out a furniture shop over there, and came back with a little ball of fluff. A Pomeranian cross puppy. We had to name him Shep. I don't think Mum was amused  as she had to look after him while I was at work. But Shep loved to travel in the car.

The 1970's were a time when life was a bit  freer and unrestricted.
But the mother in law to be was still a firm believer of rules.
She did not drive and wanted to go to Healesville for a few days so we offered to go also. We stayed in a lovely guest house surrounded by tree ferns and lots of colourful plants. But there would be no staying in a room together for this young couple, not on her watch.

But there were weekends when we did manage to organise a trip away from our home towns.
I wonder if Mum ever twigged

It always seemed that there were powers out there that wanted to challenge our relationship.
At first we had decided to wait until I had finished my training before we got married but then we started to throw around ideas about me transferring to another hospital.
The only way I would find out if I could, was ask the Matron .
She was a very threatening person and I was soon to find out just how strict she was. Well the option of a transfer was refused point blank but then she noticed my engagement ring on a chain around my neck. She then tore strips off me for failing to ask her permission to get engaged.
Yep there were certainly some forces out there to do everything to prevent us from continuing our lives together.
So I cracked it with the hospital and quit my training.

We then felt that we could bring forward our wedding date as there was nothing standing in our way.
                                                    So August 25 1973 we were married .

A 90th birthday without the guest of honour - His life , my memories

When birthdays come around I sometimes wonder what type of person they would have aged in to.
No doubt he would  still  be throwing orders around and more than likely still loving an alcoholic beverage of some sort. And if he was in a nursing home he would  con someone to bring it in for him.

My father was born on 26th August 1927 so this year I wish  we could celebrate his 90th birthday, with him as the guest of honour.

He was born in Bendigo, the son of Bertha and Daniel Kairn

The  brother of Marjorie ,who he adored. Oh yes they had their minor disagreements but he loved to drop in to check up on her and enjoy a cuppa or quickly thrown together meal.

 I do not know enough about his early years and those chats  are something that time did not allow. And there is no one left to fill in all those gaps.  I would think that school was not his most favourite place as he was the type of person who would rather learn in his own way. This report card shows that he certainly did not excel at all subjects

I know he was a Volunteer Plane spotter on one of the towers during the second world war

What drew my Mother to him ?
Due to them divorcing and the relationship having been destroyed for a long time prior to the divorce , that was a question that was never asked.
Why do we not ask these questions as it shows where we have come from and what makes us who we are.
In his younger days Gordon was a bit of a looker so maybe that was the attraction. At this time of his life worked at Bradford Mills in Kangaroo Flat and made some great long standing friends. In the early days they had some great social outings. I remember many long time friends arriving for the Sunday evening barbecue in the shed.

I wonder, if  Mum  knew that he was quite a drinker , if the marriage would have happened. I was told that this bit of information was kept away from her before the wedding.

 Four children, three girls and a boy were the result of this marriage ,born over a span of twelve years.


Speed was one of Dads favourite past times.
He loved motorbikes and fast cars and occasionally hit the ground or another object .

As a young betrothed woman, then a young bride Mum must have been so stressed not knowing if he had had an accident of some kind whilst out riding with mates.
Some of the stories old Jimmy told me made my hair curl about the way they used to ride.

A Panther motorbike similar to one that Dad rode. Jimmy an old friend of Dads who rode with him, gave me this photo.

Many times we went to the Calder raceway and watched the car races and if we weren't heading to Melbourne  we would attend races at the local race track held at what is now the show grounds.
Great fun to see the cars zooming around the track , creating mountains of dust.
And often those cars would end up in our wrecking yard.



Dad was before his time and was recycling before "recycling " became a buzz word.
But back then, we needed to repair and re use things. So there was a definite market for second hand car parts.
He leased a yard and office space in Bendigo where he set up his wrecking business .
Prior to this he was in the suburb of Kennington where he had a few cars scattered around their rented property.

I loved going in to the workshop in Bendigo. I remember going down the rickety stairs to the cellar and climbing up in to the old shed out the back which housed an old boat.
Cullen's fruit shop was a few doors down and the bottle yard was across the road.
Joan was the book keeper and there were a few grease monkeys working on the cars.

Lyttleton Terrace Bendigo

I can't remember how many years the business operated out of this shop but the next move was to a large block of land in Flora Hill. Dad turned his hand at building his huge shed, complete with office, mechanics pit and toilet block. We all had a hand in holding  the massive steel poles while the concrete was poured around them, or making the huge roof trusses . The lift up door was interesting as strong winds would play havoc with it as you were attempting to pull it down and sometimes the wind would blow it off its tracks. This parcel of land was in three titles so the shed was on one, the house on the middle one  and the third and all areas around the buildings were covered by cars.

The view of the back yard, and this was tidy . At one stage we had cars balancing three high. They were a challenge climbing in them.

Dad was clever. And I always remember him tinkering with something. If Dad  could not find the tool that was required for a specific purpose he would just have a go and make it himself. And most times he was successful. In those days many business transactions were  carried out by handshake  and a lot of payments were paid in goods needed or perhaps not needed but taken anyway. A small pony was the result of one such payment and possibly another was a large wooden hulled boat which took up a massive amount of room in the shed.
Whenever there was a travelling circus in town we would be given tickets to the shows and if we went with Dad we were allowed to visit around the caravans afterwards . The showies always liked to use Dads knowledge of repairing bits and pieces.

We always had interesting machinery arriving in the yard. One day we could hear the steam roller in the distance being driven up the hill and it stayed on our nature strip for quite a few years. A Bren Gun carrier was another arrival; goodness knows what job he did to be paid with a Bren gun carrier. Or he may have been reading the For Sales . Maybe he thought it may come in handy one day.
A very useful purchase was a large bus. The seats were pulled out and replaced with bunks. Dad was clever like that. It sat out on private property at Lake Eppalock for a while . So we had a few camping holidays out there. I have no memory of it being sold but I guess it must have been.
A favourite creation was the little jig to go behind Trixie. A nice burgundy red colour with little rubber tyres. We travelled around the neighbour hood enjoying the era of horse and cart, or in this case pony and jig. It was always a favourite to head over to see Auntie Marj, and try to keep Trixie away from her garden. Sadly the cart was wrecked after Trixie wrapped it around a power pole

Dad did teach us girls a few things about cars. Some days we were able to help him as we could  grab tools that he needed . I wonder how females would have been treated back then if any of us had decided to be mechanics. I would be curious to know  if females even were allowed to apply for "male " dominated jobs in the early 1970's.

Dad loved his cars and always had a passion for Jaguars. Many "dead " Jaguars littered the yard.

He was certainly before his time and obviously did not have the confidence or foresight into the way the future would go. We drove a Toyopet ; a very modern car back then  It had been used at the 1956 Melbourne Olympics to drive the Japanese  officials around. I can't remember when Dad took possession of it. Funny though, I do remember falling out of it. Yes a silly little girl who opened the door while the car was in motion. Only slowly mind you as we were entering a family friends property.  Toyota was not a well known car company in Australia the 1960's. Dad was  asked if he would be interested in selling Toyota cars but his answer was " Who would want to buy Japanese cars " Yes the war was still in many peoples minds back then. And look at how popular Toyota cars are now !
I really wish we had photos of his Ford. You see it was converted to gas. Yes, a gas powered car in the 1960's. And the cylinder sat on the front seat. He really cared about safety. !!
He never marketed it  as his answer was why would people want gas powered cars.
Just think what could have been !
When there was talk of creating a Flying Club he was one of the first to put his money on the table. He was a founding member and his name is on a board hanging on the wall at the members clubhouse. The club is still going strong.

Quite a few useful and decorative wrought iron furniture pieces were made by Dad.  I think we all have something made with the twisted steel, whether it be something for outside or an inside piece. He was meant to make the metal railing to go around the front verandah and also the back steps but that never happened . Luckily no one fell off. But at least the one for the back verandah was made..

One piece of equipment he made and I loved to use, was a "hot wire " table. It probably did not fit all regulations but that was never a concern to Dad. The hot wire was used to slice through poly styrene to make shapes. He made many advertising signs for businesses and some very colourful Christmas decorations. I loved cutting out the decorations, but you had to go quickly and smoothly or else the wire would melt a hole in the poly styrene .

He also tinkered in beaten copper , and some of those were hanging in some businesses around the town.
In his later years his vegie garden contained some interesting plants. We use to ask "What on earth is fennel ? " And he grew heaps of it.  And all the funny named herbs. Yes, foods that are now popular in five star restaurants.
He enjoyed making tomato sauce or versions of sauces. I was cautious when it came to taste anything. Once he invited us into the laundry to see his latest batch and offered us a bottle. We declined as we could see the insects sitting on top as the lids were not yet on. He had no idea they were there as  his eyes were not that good ! His potted meat was something that I stayed away from. All sorts of meats were minced up to go in to the mix. I remember that big cream bowl with bricks weighing the top down so the contents would press in to a solid shape.

Dad always had a prolific vegie garden.

He had charcoal pits so he could make his own charcoal to use in his forge. I have no idea if he sold it to others  but I imagine he would have had a market for it somewhere.

He was always using equipment for uses that it was not designed for. He used his welder to cut steel, which apparently is something that you didn't do. And he owned an oxy set so no idea why he did not use that !
He loved having animals around him. His dog and pigeons, and Trixie the small pony lived to a great age.
He lost his licence in the  early 1970's so made friends with many bus drivers. He also walked a lot and had various watering holes along different routes that he took.
One of the biggest fights he had was with the local council.
As the town grew out and houses popped up around the business, then complaints about visual impact started.
The pressure that the council put on him was enormous. Many requests for higher fences so the neighbours could not see the contents of the yard. It was a fight that went on for many years with Dad travelling to get legal help outside of Bendigo as it was a closed shop in his home town.
And more people around meant more theft. Quite often people would scale over the back fence and help themselves to what they wanted.
In his final years he moved in to a variety of boarding houses but still maintained his workshop. His house was long sold but at least he still had somewhere to tinker. He had an old caravan in the shed so he could sit somewhere comfortable and enjoy a cuppa. Whenever you visited him at the shed he would offer a drink and a biscuit. You quickly learnt not to have anything as the biscuit was inevitably quite stale as the packet was left open.
He was a person who in his later years, loved looking after others.
There was always Christmas turkeys to hand out to greatful recipients. A delivery job that took many hours and many beverages to down along the way.

You often wonder what would have been. What would life be like if history had gone another way. Would he still be requesting drives around town all the time ?Would he still be tinkering ? I wonder how he would have coped with the growth of technology.   Would he have loved the internet ? I would imagine he would enjoy researching things using google.

I have friends who are lucky enough to be celebrating their parents 90th bithdays .
And I have friends, like me, who have been living without their parents in their lives for sometime.
No parent  celebrations.
No reason to have that big party.
No longer able to learn about family history

This was the end result of a light plane crash at Bendigo . No idea of the date

The Last Goodbye

You hop in the car, give a small wave and yell a quick    " bye, see ya later "

                                                    But could it be the last goodbye ?

We never really know and it is something that we probably never give a second thought too.
But why would you if the recipient of that good bye is young, fit and healthy.

We all need to accept that it could be a last goodbye !

I wonder how many of us have had a time in our past when  a goodbye was the last, due to a sudden unexpected passing .

A sudden passing while under anaesthetic for a simple operation or being treated for a simple illness or even just taking part in a favourite sport.

Do we still regret not giving a hug or continuing the conversation,  rather than brushing off the person , as you had other things to do !

Many people from the poorest , right through to royalty can regret a quick goodbye. How sad for two young boys to have their mother killed in a car accident a few hours after they quickly ended a goodbye chat on the phone, as they wanted to go and play.

If you have ended a goodbye too quickly or too early then that guilt can play on you for many years.

Will you regret not spending more time saying goodbye to  your loved one as you are both leaving and heading your separate ways for the day ?

How do you say goodbye and hold no regrets if the inevitable happened ?

I don't think it would matter how you said goodbye, you would still have regrets !

You would still carry guilt.

                                We never realise what we had until we longer have it

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