An exiled mother's day

Here we are. It is Mother's day.

How do you celebrate Mothers Day ?

It would be so difficult to celebrate these days if your children and /or grandchildren were taken from you through a tragic event. How heartbreaking it would be when  these days come around. I could not comprehend how difficult these days would be. 
What would they give to have those family members back in their lives.

But I am a  mother and grandmother who sits and wonders what happened and why there is no Mothers day celebration with all my grandchildren and children

It is so sad that there are many grandparents who are deprived of the love of their grandchildren.
Special days like Mothers day just add to the sadness and feelings of despair.

Is it a day starting with breakfast in bed and gifts from preschool kids of poorly made presents, but given with such huge smiles and pride , that it does not matter.


If you listen to all the media hype, the commercial side will tell you that you should receive expensive gifts or be rewarded by a meal at a fancy restaurant.
Yes I believe all our special days have become too commercialised, but that is the way the retail world has to try and increase their profits. They make people feel guilty if the most expensive perfume or most fashionable outfit is not purchased.


Mother's day for me was always just a family day where we all got together and shared a meal or just a glass of wine with  a nice platter.
The laughter of grandkids resonating throughout the house was just an enjoyment, not an annoyance.

Now it has all changed.

There is no badly written card or  present from some grandkids.
Not even a phone call or text message from some children.
Why  ????    I ask myself this question many, many times
Would things change if I knew the answer ? Who knows !

As a mother myself I did not give my Mother many Mother's days to celebrate and spend the time with her grandchildren.  I think we had five in total. You see she sadly passed away very suddenly when my daughter, her eldest granddaughter ,was five years old. So from then on my Mothers day included a trip to the cemetery to place flowers on her grave.

My Mother was a very proud and loving Nan. She adored her grandchildren

                                      The last Mothers day card that we gave my Mum

But  every Mothers Day I continued to receive  cards ,  presents , or a welcome phone call ,and it was acknowledged that the day was special.

When grandchildren came along I was then the recipient of gifts, either made or purchased at a kinder or school mothers day stall.
How special did that make you feel. A hand drawn card or a drawing that I could put up on the wall.

So Mothers day now just gives me questions. And I guess that it also gives some of my grandchildren questions.
Do three of my grandchildren ask "What gift are we  buying Nan?  "  or
"When are we going to see Nan ?"
Is it because I could never celebrate many mothers days with my Mother so now my daughters think that it is unimportant to spend the day with the older generation. Perhaps I am now classed as too old and just the silly old matriarch of the family who is no longer important, or maybe I am deemed to be no longer useful !

But to day I had drinks with  lovely friends and two of their three sons , daughter in laws and their grandkids. It was great to see the respect and love that is shown. Fun and laughter and a few crying episodes from the kids.
And these people have dealt with the most profound sadness and emotional lows.
But what  a wonderful afternoon it was to spend time with  people who still have so much love to give.

So my day was not all about sadness.

Our son made me feel special when he rang for a chat and a laugh. My younger sister made sure that I was remembered . And my darling hubby made sure that an outing was in order.
I don't need fancy cards or gifts but being remembered is important
And not being remembered is the biggest hurt of all. !

                                                    My Nanna  -   Winifred Brownfield

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