Confrontation

Confrontation exists but it needs to be managed so everyone can be content in life.

Confrontation.
So what is confrontation ?
How would you explain the meaning of  confrontation ?
I guess we would all have a general idea of what confrontation means. But then I think some of us would define it differently to others.

Some would call a discussion , confrontation, whereas to me , outright fisticuffs is definitely confrontation. And during a conversation if one side is throwing around words filled with hate and nasty overtones , and you become fearful, then that is confrontation.

And not all  confrontation is a bad thing. It is the way that we deal with it and the way that we let any conflict affect us that is important.

If that confrontation results in a problem being resolved peacefully, then that is a good thing.

I remember all those times when it was " Mother versus toddler ". Oh dear how difficult those arguments were. It is so hard to reason with a toddler !  As a parent you are trying to retain some level of authority which is needed for the peaceful running of the household, but how often does a child have different ideas. So take a moment to think about it.  Do you call this confrontation ?  Interesting isn't it.

There is generally a variety of different types of conflict and confrontation in a household. But children also need to learn, that in the big wide world, there is a hierarchy of authoritarianism and it is up to you to  teach them that throughout life there will be rules that must be obeyed.

Parents need to teach their children the art of conversation so , when they are older, they are able to effectively argue their rights, so they are not walked all over .

Yes, life is tough !

When children commence school they can be faced with nasty kids who can make school days difficult. There can be confrontations, either physical or verbal, in the school ground ,or on the way to or from school. Nowadays schools have plans in place to deal with these situations.

Over the years I have seen many of my friends have quite vocal discussions with their partners. It could be raised voices about something simple like forgetting to put the bin out or not feeding the dog. I do not call this confrontation, but others may. There is no malice or hatred in the words even though voices are raised. But if this type of argument is common place then there is a problem between the pair .

If you have been brought up in a house where the love in that family is long gone, then that will colour the view of life that you will have. Your life may have been filled  with the sounds of raised voices and hatred ; and not the conversations filled with words of love. Which parent do you want to take after ? Which parent do you want to be like ? Ae you frightened that you will take on mannerisms of the nasty parent !

This is where you must take a stand and be determined that you will be a pleasant and likeable member of society.

But there will be times in life when you will need to " man up " And that does not mean that you are being confrontational.  If you are in a restaurant and your meal is not quite right, what do you do. Pay for something that you cannot eat and just decide never to eat there again. Or do you explain the problem to the staff and have it rectified.

There needs to be a time in all our lives when we need to stand up for what we believe in. Not because you want to be a person who starts an argument but because there needs to be a time that you need to look after yourself.

Imagine how mentally down trodden you would feel if you just let people walk all over you , if you had no choice in anything that did affect you. Just because you believed that if you spoke up that you would be marked as a confrontational person. I wonder what sort of relationship it would be if  one person was making all the decisions, because one partner has a stronger personality than the other.  I would think that the relationship would eventually fail.

In any marriage or partnership their needs to be discussions to resolve problems that are arising. These are not confrontations. These are discussions. Yes, maybe the voices get raised. But at the end there will generally be a resolution. I have been married for 43 years and yes, we have had some heated discussions, but I have never called them confrontations.

Sadly I have seen some nasty and hate filled conversations between married couples. Where one partner enjoys putting the other one down in front of friends or family. A truly mentally abusive relationship, and a very nasty way to be confrontational.

So the trick is to learn how to manage confrontation. It is out there, and it is very difficult to stay away from. There will be times when you can walk away but there will also be times when you need to be able to reason through a problem, not just ignore it and hide away from it

As it will still be there. And it will forever eat at you if it is not resolved.

When you have resolved a major problem by sitting and talking it through, then you will feel very content and mentally relaxed.

Be strong

                                             Sit and discuss it, as silence solves nothing !

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